How do I explain the hardest day of my life? A mother’s worst fear come true? One year ago today on November 26, 2018 my sweet boy Colt died in my arms. It ripped my heart wide open. Watching him take his last few breaths as I told him that his new body was ready and to go be with Jesus. As soon as I said that he looked at me and went to be with Jesus. He had no ability to walk or move his arms or fingers. He couldn’t eat. We gave him water and chocolate milk shakes from a medicine dropper because he couldn’t control his tongue anymore. He could barely talk anymore but he repeatedly said, “I’m ready for my new body Jesus. Come take me to heaven.”
The wound has started to scab over some as a year has passed now, but it will never fully heal. No family should have to go through that. Period. No 10 year old should have to go through that. A mother should not have to hold her son in her arms as he takes his last breath. This month has been a month of reliving the last few weeks of Colt’s life on earth. It is painful to remember.
God blessed us with the gift of being Colt’s parents for 10 years. We describe it like getting to live with a unicorn…Colt was truly one of a kind and incredibly rare! He brought so much Joy to our family. His laughter was contagious. He showed us the way through incredible pain with his example of how he beat cancer. He did not beat cancer physically but he beat cancer by NEVER giving in. By NEVER feeling sorry for himself. By finding JOY in the little things every day. And ultimately by knowing with absolute certainty that he got to get his new perfect body in heaven with no pain or suffering.
So this month has been filled with difficult emotions and reliving some painful memories of not being able to save my sweet boy, but it has also been a month of reflecting on the amazing thought that warms my heart…that Colt is whole again with a new, perfect body feeling no pain and no cancer! What mother wouldn’t want that for her son? So while the pain of not having him near for a year now, is at times too much to handle, I am trying hard each day to live with JOY and HOPE as he showed us how. And to change the world by helping fund a cure for this awful cancer. We are paying it forward today to help bring joy to a family currently in the fight against DIPG in honor of Colt. I challenge everyone to find joy in each day and be the joy for others, in honor of Colt’s 1 year Anniversary of leaving us.🧡💙